Dark Oddities with GemmaLisaX; Jane in the Box by Spirare

Jane in the Box by Spirare

The odd thing that I went for this week is a one shot that I actually read a while ago. I fell in love with its quirky and odd nature as soon as I started...and here’s a little snippet from the beginning to show you why...

Attention All Employees

We have implemented the following policies effective immediately.

1. All employees must clock in and out upon entering and leaving the office respectively. Please use the time-card located to the right of the front entrance.


2. All employees must take a mandatory 1 hour lunch and two 15 minute breaks.


3. Please be respectful and do not bring your lunch to the office with you. A distracted vampire is not a productive vampire.


4. Please familiarize yourself with the new mission and expense reporting system. All reports will be due within 24 hours of mission completion.


5. Full uniforms are required even when you are not currently on a mission. This is to encourage team solidarity.


6. Lastly, please refrain from using your abilities while on office time. We are here to provide a safe and happy work environment.


Failure to comply with any of the aforementioned policies will result in swift and severe punishment.


Thank you, in advance, for your continued cooperation.


Sincerely,


The Management

Yes, boys and girls, the Volturi has been turned into an office.  The vampire aristocracy has been turned 9 to 5 and given cubicles...and scheduled breaks...and a time card. <laughs my tits off>  This, as the title shows, is all in Jane’s point of view and holy fuck, is she not happy about it.  And, my God, does this crack you up!  Spriare makes something that the real world knows as boring and drab, into something fucking hilarious and totally weird by setting the Volturi in it.  There are email funnies, Jane handling a mission in her own subtle and special way <snorts> and then her return to the office...fuck...there are no words for that!  You really have to read this little gem, it’s a short read but well worth it and should be a part of everyone’s reading list.  If you like some quirk in your stories then this is a must, it’ll pick your day right up and have you laughing your arses off.  I would recommend not drinking around the comp while reading though...just to be safe

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So, get clicking on that link and remember to show Spirare some love and check out her other stories which are all truly fantastic.